Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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