Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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