I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
