I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
