mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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