I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
