Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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