it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
