He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
