Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
