i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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