i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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