why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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