I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
