Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
