I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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