anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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