I want to stick my p in your. b.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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