the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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