oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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