lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
