:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
