Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
