there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
