party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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