When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
