Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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