from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
So squirting runs in the family.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize