it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
