Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize