That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
