Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
