Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
