I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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