was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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