I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
