____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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