I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
