Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
This house was built for laser tag.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
