Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i've created a new STD.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
