I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
