if i died would you start the facebook group?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
