We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
