I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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