There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
