Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
