Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He told me they were just razor bumps!
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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