We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
only you would photoshop your dick
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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