So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
