he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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