you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
