omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
