she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
