Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
