making cat noises will not fix the situation.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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