CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
