she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
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