i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Two words: blizzard sex
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize