thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
