My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
