I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
