Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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