He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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