all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
