I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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