Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
time to smoke my breakfast
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
