He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
