hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
