Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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